Q: I really like this girl. The only problem is that she is my friend’s ex. Should I ask her out anyway? Mixed Up in MathesA: The fact that you have doubts about whether or not it’s OK means you already know it’s probably NOT OK. If you were looking for someone to give you the green light to date your friend’s ex-girlfriend, it’s not going to be me.
Would you want your friend dating any of your exes? I sincerely doubt it. The strain your relationship with the ex would place on the friendship you already have would no doubt be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Your friend will probably wonder why his ex chose you over him because, let’s face it, most break-ups aren’t mutual, happy affairs. If his ex-girlfriend left him, he is going to hate you. He will feel betrayed, extremely jealous, and probably a bit homicidal.
If he broke up with her, there was probably a good reason for it, and he will probably tell you every single one of those reasons in an attempt to keep you away from his ex. From what I think I know about the way the male mind works, no man wants another man to flaunt his personal failure (i.e. his failed relationship) in his face. Wars have been fought over less.
If their break-up was more amicable, you might have the teeniest, tiniest chance of a shot at keeping your friend and getting the girl of your dreams. If they both realized they just weren’t right for each other and split with no real hard feelings, your friend might be more willing to let you have a chance with his ex. Things between you and your friend will probably be awkward for a while, but at least he might not want to kill you.
Either way, it is definitely best to inform your friend of your intentions before you do anything to either get his blessing or sit back as his fist cracks your skull wide open. At least this way you will know where you and he stand on the issue before you screw up a good friendship over a relationship that may or may not work out. If you don’t ask him first, you can be sure that your friendship is over.
Basically, unless you are ready to give up your friend over this girl, my advice is this: FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DATE.
There are over 12,000 people at ETSU, over half of whom are women. There are also approximately 55,000 people in Johnson City, at least half of whom are also women. There are potentially thousands of eligible women within a five-mile radius of you at all times, so get out there and meet them.
No one ever said you had to date within your small social circle, and for you it’s only going to cause problems. Make sure you think this one through before you do something you regret.
Send your emails to et_enchilada@yahoo.com.

Author