Q: My roommate snores incessantly. I’ve tried everything – I’ve even bought him nasal strips, and nothing stops it! What can I do?
Drowsy in DossettA: You are not alone, my friend. Many people who have had roommates are intimately familiar with this problem – long nights lying awake while your roommate snores away, sleeping noisily and (irritatingly) peacefully.
The good news is that snoring is pretty harmless and probably won’t kill your roommate.
The bad news is that snoring is pretty harmless and probably won’t kill your roommate. If you are perturbed enough to write a letter to an advice column about your problem, your roommate’s death would probably be a welcome solution. If he turns up missing, we’ll know who to question first.
Like I said before, your roommate’s snoring is probably more annoying than anything. Unless he stops breathing for long periods of time, which would mean his airway was being blocked during his sleep, then all his snoring is going to do is keep you awake when you have a big test the next morning so you fall asleep and drool all over your blue book and flunk out of college. No big deal, right?
I suggest you smother him with a pillow.
Just kidding! There are actually several reasonable solutions that can help him annoy you less and help calm your homicidal feelings.
According to MayoClinic.com, one of the things that contributes to snoring is extra weight. Of course, no one likes hearing that their problems can be solved by diet and exercise, but it apparently works.
I’m not saying your roommate is fat, and it probably wouldn’t be a good PR move on your part to suggest your roommate lose weight so he won’t be a fat, sloppy, snoring pig, but it’s something to think about.
Sleeping on your side is a far more “doable” solution to the problem, and even one you can help your roommate with.
If he won’t sleep on his side on his own, you can always “help” him. After you do this a few times, he’ll probably get the picture.
MayoClinic.com also suggests limiting your intake of alcohol or sedatives before bedtime. Since you’re both probably underage, I’m going to assume that you don’t drink illegally, but if you hypothetically did happen to drink, try to pull your roommate away from the bottle a couple of hours before bedtime. Sedatives relax your muscles, including your throat muscles, causing the oscillation that makes snoring more likely.
The Web site also suggests nasal strips, which have apparently not worked for you yet, so I suggest you try all the other options before someone dies.
Snoring is a pretty sucky situation for the one who’s not snoring, but it’s not like you’re the only person in the history of college who’s had to deal with it.
You’re probably just going to have to stick it out.
If all else fails, you can listen to your iPod as you fall asleep to drown out the drone.
Questions? Comments? Send your e-mails to et_enchilada@yahoo.com.

Author