Dear Editor,
My first thoughts were [on ‘The Whole Enchilada’, Oct. 23 issue] ,”Gee, you don’t seem mature enough to figure out how to deal with this, and you want a more mature woman?”
But that being aside, I say it’s time to focus on some facts. Fact: You are dating your girlfriend, not the sister.
Sure, it started as an innocent crush. Easy for a guy in his first year(s) of college to have a little fascination for an ‘older woman.’ But so long as you keep tempting yourself with that fascination, it will be hard to ever see your way out of the jam.
Stop spending time with your girlfriend’s sister. You have to decide whether the girl you are seeing now is someone you actually like spending time with.
If the thought of hanging out with your girlfriend has only one bright spot, and that’s the possible inclusion of the older sis, then you are in it for the wrong reason.
The thought of spending time alone with your girlfriend shouldn’t cause your stomach to tighten up.
You both are in the developing stage for a long-term relationship. That also means learning that people fall out of love and some things just don’t last.
So, if you realize that the girlfriend isn’t the one, then it’s definitely time to end it. Just don’t tell her you have found someone else. That is too hurtful.
Keep it simple. Stick with something along the lines of, “I don’t think I love you the way you deserve to be loved,” or equally sentimental. She deserves to be happy. So do you.
Telling her there is someone else will play on insecurities, and telling her you don’t love her the way she should be loved at least gives the impression you are mature and mindful of her feelings. In my opinion, I wouldn’t be approaching sis at all. Not for a year at least.
Now that you know what type of woman you are more interested in, go date and find someone. Look for clubs and events that cater to like-minded women.
Don’t go out looking for a hook-up. Don’t go out looking for a rebound girl. Just go have fun.
The love thing will find its way back around all on its own in due time.
Jamie Whitfield

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