This week, The Whole Enchilada received two questions about students who harbor secret desires for a classmate. Read on to find the answer to both romantic riddles.
Q1: I have a huge crush on the guy I sit next to in one of my MWF classes. I am distracted during class because all I can do is think about what I would do if he were my boyfriend (my grade hasn’t been affected). How do I let him know that I am interested, and how do I know if he is interested? I don’t have much experience with guy/girl interaction, and I don’t want to scare him off. What should I do?
Distracted
Q2: I have a problem. During the last few weeks I’ve developed a crush on one of my classmates. I know he considers me a friend, but I have no idea if he sees me as potentially more or not. I don’t want to risk our friendship or make a complete idiot of myself by asking him how he feels about me, but I don’t think I can stand not knowing, either. What do I do?
Confused
A: One of the beautiful things about college is the wealth of available men and women with whom you can develop both friendships and relationships. The college environment of communal learning and development both in academics and in life helps us seek out those people with whom we share similar interests and goals.
By the time we reach college, we’ve accrued enough life experience to help guide us toward becoming the kind of person we want to be.
And, for many college students, that ‘kind of person’ also includes the idea of a partner. Following this logic, it only makes sense that you are going to try to pick your potential love interests from among those who share your common interests, i.e., your classmates.
However, figuring out why you’ve chosen your current crush doesn’t solve your dating dilemmas.
The issue at stake in both cases is essentially the same: you’ve thus far been too shy to do anything about your feelings. I regret to inform you there’s no way to resolve your situations without just telling the object of your affection how you feel. However, there are definite strategies for letting him know how you feel that may be more affective than, say, screaming your undying love from the top of the bell tower.
The most obvious route for both of you to take is to ask your crush on a little study date. Nothing, I daresay, has been more effective in the history of college dating. Wait for the next test, then suggest he come to the Cave or Barnes & Noble or even your dorm to study. As we all know, ‘studying’ is widely regarded as a euphemism for ‘other things’ (read into that what you will), so if says yes, you’ll know he’s at least interested in studying, and maybe in more.
After the study date, you’ll probably be able to gauge his interest at least a little more clearly. If all goes well, ask him out for the next step: coffee.
If he agrees to coffee, congratulations! You’ve taken the first step to securing yourself a boyfriend. After you’ve spent this much time together, it should be obvious whether or not he reciprocates your feelings. So go to class, get over your shyness, and start talking. You’ll never know what could be unless you try.
Questions? Comments? Send your e-mails for The Whole Enchilada to et_enchilada@yahoo.com.

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