Playstation 3’s, X-Box 360’s, and Wii’s. Oh my! What to do with all these new consoles? Camp outside Wal-Mart? I think not. Play old favorites? That’s more like it.
Instead of forking over several hundred dollars, I’m going to wade through the Playstation 3 craze (for now) and spend my free time playing games that age like a fine red wine. Everyone has their preference when it comes to the video gaming world, even if you don’t play video games at all. To keep it simple, I’m going to split up each of my recommendations. All these games are at most $20. That beats the PS3’s going rate of $600 by quite a few hundred bucks.
Best of all, I guarantee that if you give the following games a chance (assuming you haven’t already), you will enjoy them the same way I have been enjoying them for … way too long. Here’s to wasting your life away!
“Grand Theft Auto: Vice City,” Playstation 2
There is nothing like playing a game that is infamous for allegedly being the cause of several cases in which teenagers wounded or murdered innocent bystanders. I’m not arguing that the media is ignorant in its constant finger-pointing at the gaming world instead of the parents and trigger-happy teenagers. I’m simply saying that “GTA: Vice City” is addictive. If it were edible, it would be a cross between Willy Wonka’s three-course meal chewing gum and the Everlasting Gobstopper. Granted, there is something disturbing about playing a guy (Tommy Vercetti) who goes around town stealing cars and killing strangers (or former mob bosses). Set in the ’80s with a faithful soundtrack, “GTA: Vice City” is an experience we all need. I’ll be the first to say that stealing a convertible and running over simulated people is the very definition of therapy. Doing so in real life is atrocious, but in a video game … it is an amazing feeling to have so many lives (and guns) in your hands. Honorable Mention: “The Sims” for Playstation 2 (It also satisfies the God complex in us all).
“Final Fantasy VIII,” Playstation
Ah, the “Final Fantasy” series. I am at my geekiest when it comes to this genre-expanding series. I turned a blind eye to the “Pokemon” craze and I hate “Halo” with a passion, but as soon as I started playing “Final Fantasy VIII,” I had to have them all. While “FFVIII” is my favorite for sentimental reasons, every other game in the series is just as good or better. You may live under a rock, but you know that somewhere on some subconscious level that you have heard of Cloud (FFVII’s hero). Well, that’s enough shameless advertising for the FF series in general. Back to shamelessly advertising “FFVIII.” With graphics that warped the mind back in the day, the look and style of “FFVIII” still surpasses most of the new role-playing games of today. Telling the story of Squall Leonhart, this four-disc strategy game consists of complex characters and a heart-rending story between two lovers who are as star-crossed as Romeo and Juliet. ‘Cheesy crap,’ you may mutter. Go ahead and assume this game isn’t worth at least three months of your life. Go ahead and continue playing “Halo” because that game is going places. God, I hate “Halo.” Honorable Mention: All things “Zelda” (Duh).
“Mortal Kombat,” Super Nintendo
While the newer additions to the MK series are worthy of a passing glance or two, the original “Mortal Kombat” was a flawless victory over all the other fighting games then in distribution. From Sub-Zero to Sonya Blade, each character comes with easy to learn moves and not so easy to learn finishing moves (i.e., fatalities). A favorite memory of mine, I can recall beating every man and woman in my family when it came to “Mortal Kombat.” I was Sub-Zero and I was immune to any tactics any relative could care to attempt. Honorable mention: “Killer Instinct” for the Super Nintendo (Mainly because of Orchid’s theme song and Spinal).
And my personal favorite, of every console and every genre…
“Super Mario World,” Super Nintendo
I started playing the Super Nintendo around the time I was learning to tie my shoes (I was six and a half, a procrastinator to the core). I quickly learned how to satisfy all my human habits such as breathing, eating, and using the bathroom, all the while getting closer to Bowser one level at a time. Though looking back on the game now, there isn’t really so much a plot as there is utter simplicity in the game play. The controls are simple, the story is simple, and God loves his heart, Mario is the most simple of them all. I am enraptured with nostalgia from the moment I pounce on my first Yoshi to my frustration with the ‘Tubular’ level in Special World. In 50 years, when all the world is playing their Playstation ’93s with Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 6,023 in the background, I will be saving Princess Toadstool with the same triumphant smile on my face that I wore 61 years ago. The only thing that bugs me is that through a hundred levels of determination and persistence, Bowser is such a complete pansy. Honorable mention: “Luigi’s Mansion” for Nintendo Gamecube (Because Luigi could use the spotlight).
There you have it – the four pillars of my life as a gamer. Try them out. You just might be as good as me one day. That is, if you haven’t blown your life savings on a console that has a few sports games to offer. God, I hate sports games.

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