“You look like one of those creatures in the jungle with those massive eyes, what are they called? Bush baby,” ‘American Idol’ judge Simon Cowell said to contestant Kenneth Briggs. This then caused Rosie O’Donnell, everyone’s favorite obese lesbian talk show host, to open her mouth on ‘The View.’ “To make fun of someone’s physical appearance, is this what America thinks is entertainment?” O’Donnell said.
The simple answer to O’Donnell’s question is ‘yes.’ That is what entertainment is in America and it has always been that way. From the early days of the circus sideshow where people came to gawk at bearded ladies and a motley crew of other folks to laughing at the awkward nerdyness of Urkel to watching fallen celebrities struggle to lose weight on “Celebrity Fit Club,” the only thing America likes more than building someone up is tearing them down or seeing them being torn down by others. While Cowell’s comments may be distressing to some like O’Donnell, they should not be surprising in the least.
Every year Americans tune into ‘American Idol’ like mindless drones to see Paula Abdul, seemingly half-drunk and horny, hit on contestants and make unusual comments and to hear Cowell verbally defecate on the hopes and dreams of many, all the while Randy Jackson sits at the end of his desk giggling and thinking he is important. Americans do this because they get the best of both worlds – they get to see would-be idols built up and torn down, and they get a hand in the festivities by voting from the comfort of their sweat-stained, crumb-covered La-Z-Boy. This process also allows them to live vicariously through the winners, giving them a sense that they actually had something to do with their success. But before they even get to vote they get to see the good, the bad and, yes, the ugly of ‘American Idol.’
Many may wonder how and why these unsightly talentless dolts seem so hopeful over their prospects of making it to Hollywood when they are performing before Abdul, Cowell and Jackson.
The reason for this glimmer of hope is that before they perform for the ‘American Idol’ judges, the contestants have to make it through a variable gauntlet of production assistants.
The assistants then weed out the very best from the very worst and pass them on to the ‘Idol’ judges. There for the amusement of the American public the “talented” are exalted while the others are there merely for shits and giggles.
We shouldn’t feel bad for them, though. They have watched the show and they know how brutal it can get and in the end they still get their moment of fame – in some cases it is longer than others. William Hung got a record contract after he was dismissed by ‘Idol’ judges because his performance of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” was so awesomely bad.
Maybe, just maybe, the same will happen for Briggs and Americans can get the satisfaction of seeing the man they tore down built up.

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