Q: I met the perfect guy last semester and I am dating him now. The only problem is that he is 35 and I am 21. My parents and my friends don’t agree with me dating him and it really bothers me. What should I do?         —Anxious About Age
A: Large age differences (for example, 14 years) can pose problems in relationships but that is not to say that such a relationship is doomed. Consider Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, who have a 16-year age difference and have been together for nearly a lifetime by Hollywood standards.
Dating someone significantly older than you is considered a bit out of the ordinary for many different reasons. Often, people are at different “places” or levels of maturity in their lives as they progress in age. For example, dating someone who is ready to settle down when you still want your freedom to party on the weekends is obviously not a good match and will only lead to conflict if the relationship gets serious.
There are other reasons many people have in our society for disapproving of relationships between people who are not of relatively equivalent ages. Other than the difference in maturity levels, there are also the obvious problems that age will present in the long-term relationship.
Your partner will turn 40 long before you. Your partner will officially become a “senior citizen” while you are still in your 40s. And, let’s face it, your partner will probably die before you.
It’s not something anyone wants to think about it, but it’s the truth and you should at least consider it before making any long-term commitments.
All this is not to say that dating someone older is wrong, because it’s not, and why should it be? Just because your boyfriend was born a few years before you doesn’t mean that he can’t be a perfect partner for you in every other way.
Love doesn’t have an age limit, at least not one that I am aware of. It just seems that the farther apart in age people are, the less they will have in common both in life experiences and the important beliefs that should be shared or at least agreed upon by both partners in a romantic relationship.
If you really care about your boyfriend, you can make it work. What you can’t do is make everyone else support you.
Because of the norms about dating and age in our society, the age difference between you and your boyfriend is going to seem odd to most people at first.
Some people may never get over it, but your true friends and those who take the time to get to know your boyfriend will soon give up their prejudices.
Encourage your friends and family to spend more time with your boyfriend and also implore them to be supportive of you; after all, it’s your life, not theirs. You’re an adult and you are more than capable of making your own decisions about the men you wish to date.
If they really care about you, they may still offer criticism but they will support you  not matter what you choose.
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