Red, white and blue . . . football, pride, patriotism: these things pump through the veins of every American. We bow our heads before the game and say a little prayer, we sing our anthem and ask God to bless our country, our vehicles wittily make excuses for our behavior, “Freedom isn’t free” and our ethic guides us day by day through this world of shame. But we, America, stand strong and proud and outshine all others with Lady Liberty’s torch.
I’ve recently had some sort of epiphany. It wasn’t anything major – not the answer to world hunger or the reason behind George Bush’s stupidity – no, I couldn’t be that lucky.
Yet, in the wake of our school’s football hysteria, I have decided that one thing, and only one thing, is important to our nation, region and school: pride.
To begin today’s lesson, I would like to take into account that pride is one of the seven deadly sins. Yes sir, you heard me right: deadly. Still, it’s all that I see when I look around. So, what is it about pride that makes us feel so driven?
One of the things I hear most about pride is that which reflects the news of this country. If you aren’t supporting “the soldiers” then you aren’t an American. If you aren’t spending your Sundays in front of the television rooting on your favorite team for some kick ass, pigskin-throwing football game, then you aren’t a man. If you don’t have a Confederate, or “rebel” flag on your front porch then you don’t respect or honor your elders.
When I see these signs that read, “The South will rise again,” I wonder what the hell I’ve been born into.
Why was I not lucky enough to have been born in Europe, given the chance for intellectual capacity not hindered by tradition, history and the Bible? Why America – where, to quote the great Toby Keith, “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way.”
Sadly, I am trapped here and left to endure the hateful attitudes of America. All I can see are the witty evil of church signs on every corner, of every block, of every street, of every state.
All I hear are racial slurs or the quiet attempts to keep them silenced. This is what it’s like to be in hell.
Which is why, I believe, ETSU wanted football so badly. I suppose someone couldn’t handle the empty feeling on the weekends that drove them to believing that something was lacking – oh wait, ETSU pride?
But we don’t need pride. That’s the sickening part of this whole persona that America has taken on: it’s moronic. I could care less if one of my ancestors died in the Civil War fighting for slavery.
That does not give me the excuse to hang a flag, a representation of hate, on my window or defend ignorance. That does not give me, or you, the right to rush out to other countries – ones unaffected by society’s need for government, religion or pride – and indoctrinate them to believe in something uncommon to them.
This country does not have the right to practice its imperialism and call it an act of goodness. Yet it does.
Call me a hippie, a pothead, a liberal or an idiot who believes in something unrealistic. I won’t mind at all.
When America sees that the simplest of actions can breed the deadliest of ideals then it might end its need for pride, vanity, perfection, tradition, war and so on. Undoubtedly, that will not occur.
So, I’ll step off of this soap box for now. I’ll go back to shaking my head in shame and hiding my laughter while America pledges allegiance to its flag – symbolic of the blood, white supremacy and male dominance: red, white and blue.
If a God does exist and the proud truly do suffer then we’ll have hell to pay. Unless, of course, America trumps God, too, in which case we’re all screwed. But hey, I hear the devil has a few vacancies.

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