If we can credit politicians with anything, it’s the perversion of the English language. Words lose their meaning, become twisted and warped; all in an effort to confuse the listener, to hide what lies beneath.
No better example can be found than with Bush supporters who latch onto the “conservative” epithet as proof of their loyalty and love for America.
But how conservative are Bush and the rubber-stamp Republicans in Congress that support him? Can we find any bona fide examples of their conservative values in action?
What about the traditional family? What are Republicans doing to conserve mom and apple pie?
Maybe we should ask Mark Foley, former GOP representative from Florida’s 16th district (and chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children) whose pedophilic penchant for pubescent male interns cost him his House seat.
Or we could ask Louisiana’s Republican senator David Vitter, self-avowed social conservative, who admitted to soliciting a D.C. madam for something a tad beyond the bounds of traditional marriage.
My favorite family values guy has to be Larry Craig, GOP senator from Idaho, who could pick up guys in neighboring bathroom stalls with nothing more than a wide stance and a little toe-tapping.
Guardians of apple pie? Maybe the one left over from the movie “American Pie.” If being a conservative means I have to eat that, I think I’ll pass.
OK, so Republicans aren’t the paragon of family virtue they say they are. Scratch that conservative benchmark.
What about small government and fiscal responsibility?
Are Republicans reigning in spending and paring down the government like they promised? Not according to the Congressional Budget Office.
The conservatives in the White House have turned out to be quite liberal in their spending habits, racking up national deficits of $260 billion, $318 billion, $413 billion and $378 billion over the past four years.
The total national debt has climbed to $8,995,258,867,182.57 as of 9:45 p.m. Tuesday evening, and is increasing at a rate of over $1 billion per day. Perhaps they’re conserving debt for you and your kids.
Surely there must be some vestige of self control left to the party that has copyrighted the conservative label.
Is there anything the Bush administration is conserving, anything at all? How about the wealth of the top 1 percent of the population? Granted, they do a pretty good job of that.
But of course, that sort of conservation has made it difficult to conserve other things; like bridges and levies.
Clearly there are plenty of Bush supporters out there who boldly bear the “conservative” banner for the good of America and they deserve to have their voice heard, even if it is doublespeak.
What’s more, the juxtaposition of those two words, “conservative” and “Bush supporter,” is instructive in at least one aspect (other than demonstrating an oxymoron).
It reveals the one value the Republican party really does safeguard.
Hypocrisy.

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