Growing up in Appalachia, traditions have been passed down from generation to generation, which we end up accepting as true. An example I have talked about before is the saying “the devil is beating his wife” when it’s raining, but the sun is still out. Another one that I hear quite often is that death comes in threes. I’m sure some of you have heard this one, but for those who haven’t, it’s just as it seems: when there is a death or two in Appalachian folklore, it is common to hear someone say that they’re just waiting on the third one.
This was another saying that I never really questioned. I didn’t question whether it was true or not, or where it came from. Similar to the saying “the devil‘s beating his wife,” the thought that death comes in threes also has European roots. Threes are very significant within the Christian faith, for example, the Trinity of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. Threes are said to hold a lot of power, and events happening in threes are seen as a way of completion.
Once Europeans traveled to Appalachia, the settlers evolved this folklore to mean that bad things happen in threes. Something bad will happen, something worse, and then finally the third event will be the most catastrophic and final happening.
Though many Appalachian folks believe this saying to be true with their whole heart, it is most likely that this is just confirmation bias mixed with a bit of simple pattern recognition. It is easier for someone to remember a time when things happened in a pattern, in this case, deaths, and pay less attention when that wasn’t true. Psychologically, finding meaning in something bad happening, such as in threes, can actually bring a sort of relief to the grief process.
While the Appalachian folklore of death coming in threes can be rationalized easily, there are other cultures where death coming in threes has a much bigger impact. The most thoughtful of which would be in Mexican folklore, where instead of death coming in threes, a person actually has three deaths. The first death is physical when the body stops. The second death is during burial, where the body is returned to the Earth and to its final resting place. The third death, or the final death, occurs when the last person who remembers you dies. It is believed that once your name is spoken for the last time, you are no longer spiritually present.
Regardless of whether there is a simple rationalization of death coming in threes or not, it is interesting that humans are wired to give themselves a sense of peace and understanding when bad things happen.
