Dear Editor,Here are a few classes that ETSU might consider offering; “Advanced Parking.” The successful student will gain competency in timely and proper parking on the ETSU campus. Covered material will include campus “quick routes,” arrival time optimization, “try somewhere else, or wait in this lot” decision science, and anger management.

“Pedestrian Avoidance.” The successful student will gain competency in safe vehicular navigation on campus.

Covered material includes quick braking, from “out-of-nowhere” expectancy theory, contemporary personal audio equipment, psychological interpretation of eye-contact avoidance, and anger management.

“Library Printing.” The successful student will gain competency in printing at the Sherrod Library. Covered material will include signage interpretation and prioritization, independent thinking, constant-evolution theory, and anger management.

“Preemptive Behavior.” The successful student will gain competency in doing stuff before the very last second.

Course material includes priority assessment and ranking, “Why am I going to college?” analysis, life after high school consideration, and “Where are they now?” lectures.

-Mark Estes

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